Azalea, when we wrote back to explain what is up with our shit -- i.e., that Killing the Buddha is a Buddhist concept -- you never answered. So this is a shout-out to A Concerned Youth, from Some Concerned Editors: Tell us what a “bilife” is and we’ll try not to hate it.

KAPLOP GOES THE BUDDHA

Dear KtB,

I just found this web site and wanted to say thank you. I didn't know there were other people out their with the same "religious" concerns. Loved the articles I have read so far and have added it to my favorites so I can savor the rest later. Please, please, please keep up the good work.

I'm off to kill the buddha. Kaplop.
-- Doug Harding
Attorney, Sacramento, California

UMM, TOPEKA? YEAH, THAT'S IT, TOPEKA.

Dear KtB,

What city do you live in? I'm thinking about finding a new place to visit or live.
--Dave Holland

AND OUR FAVORITE QUOTE OF THE BUDDHA IS, "DOES THIS MAKE ME LOOK FAT?"

Dear KtB,

I am happy to discover this site! My investigations have taken me away from religion and even further away from spirituality. I have no idea where I am but it is free in ways that cannot be described. My favorite quote of the Buddha is "Question everything!"
-- K8TBELL

BUSH'S BUNS OF STEEL

I thoroughly enjoy your site as it helps me to understand there are those who are searching for something more significant than traditional Christian dogma, something I find as attractive as a late night TV infomercial on thigh-busting-baseball-card-collecting-stair-mastery nirvana.

My conflict is this: Religion and/or spirituality has been around us for thousands of years, and in my opinion appears to fulfill an underlying need that many have for something I can only describe as a reason for being, a purpose in life, or some other Great Plan for All of Us.

Are most humans on this planet in need of such a direction? For whatever reason, I have gained an understanding that no one is right and no one is wrong when it comes to the Plan. Do we have to know the Plan? I have long tried to live my life in the best way I can that provides for myself, my spouse, and my children. We happen to be socially well-adjusted, happy, ethically and morally sound, based on the concepts that the US and Western culture have laid before us. For me, it makes sense that we are here and we all have to deal with the moment, the day, the year, and the life. If that is all it seems to be, then I can deal with it, and I don't need others to preach or zen me out. I propose we don't search for something that is either not available or not attainable.

Is there a need out there that I don't need? I look around me and say that all is well in my backyard. If this site continues to pontificate same, I will visit often.
-- B. Bush

Is that you, Barbara? If so, glad to here things are well in Kennebunkport. Don’t let l’il W. zen you out.

LETTERS LIKE THIS ARE WHY WE KILL BUDDHA

Dear friend,

There are a few questions which I would like to ask

1. Are Buddhist "praying" to Buddhas?

2. Are we "praying" to statues?

3. Can a perfect me create imperfect others?

4. What is Buddhism in brief about?

Please advise.
-- Colin Kee

1. No .

2. We’re not, but we don’t know what you get up to at home.

3. That’s private, Colin.

4. Not asking questions like number three.

CHRIST, WE HOPE NOT

Hello --

We're currently developing an idea about Buddhism for the BBC. Am keen to explore the growing “Buddhist yellow pages” in the US. Is there a whole community of Buddhist companies and organisations? Is there now a Buddhist dentist, garage, decorator you can call on? All help welcome...
-- Kate Forshaw, BBC Religion & Ethics

ASK A BASTARD PASTOR

I never realized how great this site was till tonight. I went cruising through some chat rooms, and saw one that really caught my eye, "Ask a Pastor". Now, I have a lot of problems with faith, and the idea of God in general, and who better to talk to about this than a pastor, I thought. So I went in, and said I had problems with faith. "Go to a church" he said. "Well," I asked, "what I really want to know is what you think of God?"

Next thing is, the bastard kicks me out. I went back in, was able to type “wait...” and then the bastard kicks me again. All I'm saying here is thanks to y'all at KTB, for actually asking that question, trying to answer it, and knowing that it's just a question, and not heresy...

Hope ya catch that Buddha….
-- Jacob Fisher

LET'S PRETEND WE NEVER THOUGHT WHAT WE THOUGHT, OKAY?

Dear KTB,

In Charlotte Jeffries' survey of Radical Orthodoxy and interview with John Milbank, she makes brief comment to the effect that Radical Orthodoxy could result in a premodern society, with heretics burned, etc. In response to Milbank's saying “You could just as easily be Muslim and make this critique,” she writes, “Perhaps the Muslims of the Taliban already have.”

I read this article both before and after September 11th, in a periodic effort to figure out what my Anglican brethren in the academy are up to, and I was surprised to see it still up post-Sept 11. Just in the interests of good taste, couldn't you remove the reference to the Taliban? We had an inkling of how insidious and violent the Taliban was before 9-11, but it wasn't clear that they'd carry out something like the WTC. And, however sloppy or arrogant or simply erroneous the Milbank et. al. theology is, I'm not sure it should be compared to what the Taliban is and did (does?). I very much enjoy KTB, but the vision of Milbank as Osama is a little unfair.

Regards,
-- Joel

Dear Joel,

In fact, I don’t think Radical Orthodoxy is “sloppy or arrogant or simply erroneous” – but I think the comparison to the Taliban stands. Not because John Milbank is anything like Osama, but because both the Taliban and Radical Orthodoxy adhere to worldviews that are simultaneously ultra- traditional and innovative. The Taliban takes this perspective in the direction of violence, Radical Orthodoxy takes it in the direction of inquiry. I admire them for doing so, but believe that their methodology does put them at risk of a less tolerant scholarship. A case in point might be a tendency toward censorship, which, with all due respect, is what you’re proposing I do to my own work here. Post September 11, an understanding of Radical Orthodoxy -- its strengths and weaknesses -- is all the more important.
--Charlotte

BRUUUUUCE!!!

Mr. Cornel Bonca, Thank you for writing “Save Me Somebody.” I've been a Springsteen for 19 years and could never seem to find the words to adequately describe the man, the music, and how both have effected me. Excellent article.
-- Karen

FRAAAAANZ!!!!

Wonderful article about Kafka. I have sort of been there. Too true for me.

I love your ezine.
-- David Bridges

WATTS' ZEN GOT TO DO WITH IT?

Dear KtB,

Thanks for the excellent article/review on the book about Zen Center. It was both informative and cautionary. It brought up the following crucial point, which troubles many of us: "...(how to) try to reconcile practice with living in the world. It wasn't done that way in Asia, but that doesn't mean anything. This is a new, American form of an Asian religion. It doesn't have to play by all the old rules, does it?"

As one lurking outside the window of the practice hall, I cannot suggest how formal traditions like zen might adapt here. If zen is, as you say, a path of renunciation, then “engagement with the world” seems hardly possible, and possibly foolhardy. If the model is detachment, then perhaps there is a way -- I have been given to understand that persons like Rabindranath Tagore, and such traditions like the Sufi Naqshbandi, follow an approach that "Deliverance is not for me in renunciation. I feel the embrace of freedom in a thousand bonds of delight"(Tagore, Gitanjali). I can't see how this would be practical for the zendo: It is so individualistic and fluid it would surely degenerate into an expirement in unproductive lawlessness. Surely detachment is not an "anything goes" business. So the question of structure still arises. Can American zen provide the structure for these improvisational experiments in worldly engagement? Can Americans jazz zen? Will the Americanization of zen embrace lessons outside of Buddhism, say from Hinduism or Sufism?

This leads me to my second comment, regarding Alan Watts' comment that "Social and philosophical formalities were impediments; modernity was problematic; and the East was a repository of ancient remedies." You translate this as "In other words, anything Asian was good, anything Western or American was corrupt and should be rebelled against". Was that simplistic equation Watts’, Downing’s, or the Bay Area zeitgeist? Again the Americanization problem seems to be in trying to dismantle the structures of the Eastern remedies from their “social and philosophical formalities,” and the Zen Centre seems to have wrestled precisely with the problem of modernity in its spiritual practise, as in the notion of authority and lineage, separation of the sacred and the worldly, the pursuit of money and pleasure in a time and place where such pursuit is endemic and overblown, etc. Meanwhile it doesn't help solve these Western problems when the abbot is engaged in a very Eastern mistake of fucking the students.

This in turn leads me to a somewhat dismal conclusion: that modernity is resistant to ancient remedies, particularly when packaged for even minimal “mass” consumption. I wonder how the Naqshbandi Sufis are doing in these times, and if they are doing it in America. How would Tagore survive, much less be empowered by, the embrace of a thousand bonds of 21st century delight? I want my, I want my, I want maya MTV... Ah well, no easy answers. Back to the mat.

Warm regards,
-- Kumar Saywack

FEAR AND TREMBLING MADE EASY

Dear KtB,

As with so many commentaries on faith and religion, James Grimmelmann makes some valid points relating to the sheer impossibility of concretely defining the ineffable. "What does it say about your mysteries if they fit on an index card, if they can be put in words at all?" he asks. There is some truth to this somewhat coy statement. But here is where I think the author took the easy way out: Faith is not the problem. The search for truth, and a rational, reasonable faith are vital. The problem lies in the spiritual laziness of most of humanity. Rather than take the time to probe, to quest, they prefer to leave the thinking up to others. Yes, there is such a thing as a dumb religion. There are even evil religions and there are complicit, self-serving religions. The world is full of their fruitage. But it is up to us, to make sure we are not victims. That we are informed. Rather than shy away from questioning the faith of the faith of "abortion-clinic killers", we should take a hard, unflinching look at the application of faith in our world. The author may sincerely believe ([have] faith?) that he cannot understand faith, and feel that he never will. But I think it is probably the most important thing he or anyone can ever do in their lives to try.

-- Michael Reinmuller

Dear KtB,

I think James Grimmelmann hits several nails on their proverbial heads, particularly, "There's just something off to me about any religion that offers street-corner salvation and door-to-door deliverance, something unconvincing. What does it say about your mysteries if they fit on an index card, if they can be put in words at all?" This should be instructive to any pamphlet peddler on the street corner.

In defense of the people who produce these pamphlets (although they often irk me), they happen to be stuck in a mindset that began fading a few decades ago. They write about the relationship between God and humans in a very modernistic sense, saying that you only need to take four steps or so to fix your relationship and everything will henceforth be hunky-dory. Well, anyone who has attempted to thoughtfully relate to another sentient being realizes that breaking that relationship down into steps one, two, three doesn't really work. (OK, grant for the sake of argument that God is a sentient being to those who write those pamphlets.) But then again, let's turn to the poor chap who actually tries this: He thinks everything will be fine if he remembers Valentine's Day, her birthday and their anniversary. "Hmm, check off V-Day. I'm guaranteed a successful relationship with my wife till next year." No wonder pamphlet writers try to relate to God in four steps. They do that with their spouses too. I suppose there is a safety found in checklist relationship. "I've covered all the bases. I'm safe." But without risk, what is the meaning of relationship?

For those who say that a religion that can capture its mystery on an index card is bunk: They're right. God put a limited set of his characteristics into language -- the ones he chose to reveal to merit the faith of humans -- but is still surrounded by profound mystery. It is unfortunate that people cast God as the "pet" deity that will bless their whims if they follow four simple steps. The fact is, access to God is easier than most make it out to be, but the price of relationship was paid by someone aside from the individual.

I really appreciate what you're doing with KtB. I read your travel epistles the other night, and I'm quite impressed with how respectfully you rendered your stories. I must confess I am often less than respectful of the types of people you have encountered. Happy journeys!

John Dunham
Associate Editor
US Publishing
International Bible Society

Dear KtB,

I am not sure how I came to your site. I was following links while reading blogs. Sure glad I found you. Someone linked your Bunnies and Ducks, and then I was called to make the biscuits for supper. I disconnected and lost the trail.

-- Don Lovelady

ARE YOU THERE, DUNGEON MASTER? IT'S ME, PATRICK

Dear Nick Mamatas,

I just needed someone who understood me. I was looking for Elven villages or clans that could help me out, but the only thing I have found was your website. I have been having dreams about a perfect land. A land far before our time. A land where there was no cars, expensive buildings or computers. A land so pure and perfect, it is almost undescribable. Anyways, I keep seeing myself as an Elf. Or what I think is an Elf. I have pale skin and somewhat pointed ears, but I wasn't short and I didn't have cherry red cheeks or make toys. Everytime I dream of this I am always fighting a war with some creature that I have just named the Dwarvian race because I don't know what they are. Well, all around me people from my village, Lodus, are calling out something but I can't hear anything. It's weird because I know where things are. I knew my way around the village. I knew exactly how to kill the other creature. So, do you know anyone that can help me? email me if you do at magician164@hotmail.com. Please help me.

-- Patrick Kearney

AND FINALLY, FROM THE DESK OF MRS. JESUS...

According to Revelation Chapter 19 verses 7, 8, 9, and Revelation 21 verse 9, literally speaking it would appear that the Lamb Jesus could indeed take "one" woman as his "wife" -- Bride. The Church has taught for centuries that the Bride is a whole multitude of believers. Would it be shear insanity to think that Jesus may choose to live amongst mankind in the Millennial Reign with a "wife" of His own? Not as a Pope but be as one of mankind. Not living as though holy matrimony is beneath Him. The movie "The Last Temptation Of Christ" angered the Church but it must be within man's ideas that Christ could be associated with a "woman" as Revelation 19 states.

Is there anyone out there that believes, according to the above Scriptures that they can be taken literally and that Jesus "can" take "one" woman to be His Bride. God often has chosen "one" person for great glory like Abraham, Moses, David, Mary and many more. Why not this place of honor? Is this a grey area? The Bible also states that NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE with God. The greatest Mysteries are those that have been hidden. I would appreciate hearing from minds that can accept what I am saying. The Church would call me a heretic like Joan of Arc was. Please direct my request to anyone who can shed some Light on this.

With Hope and Love, I am His!
-- Judith Christ